Being a parent comes with a lot of responsibility, even when your child grows up. If you are a parent of an alcoholic, a great deal of energy and time are spent trying to help your child with alcoholism. Alcoholism can put loved ones at risk for emotional or physical trauma, making it important to protect your family. For those with alcohol use disorder in Portland Oregon is, residents can find help at a quality rehab.
Suggestions for Coping When You a Parent of an Alcoholic
There are a number of different strategies for coping when you are a parent of an alcoholic adult child.
Remind your child that this was the choice that put them in these circumstances. Emphasize that there was a conscious decision and not just bad luck that led him or her to this place. Interventions are useful when you let your child know that his or her behavior affects everyone in the family, as well as his or her professional and social life. One of the important parts of an intervention is that the family takes steps toward health. These strategies include the following:
- Offer support and assistance to the degree that you can do so, do not give money that will take him or her further down the road of bad behavior. If you worry that your child will not spend money you give him or her for food, then give a bag of groceries instead of cash.
- Help your child find some addiction support services. Do not place blame on yourself if he or she refuses to use the services. You are not able to help someone who does not want to help himself or herself.
- Love your child. Loving your child does not mean that you are enabling him or her. It does mean holding him or her accountable for behavior, but refusing to allow your child to dismantle the whole family.
- Do not assume that you can rescue your child. It is not possible, and it is also not your responsibility.
- You need to protect yourself and the rest of your family. Not everyone will hit rock bottom, so do not allow your child to bring you or the family to those depths.
- Love yourself. Parents do the best they can and should not hold themselves accountable for any poor choices of adult children. Loving yourself and accepting limits can keep you from spiraling.
- Find a support group. Treatment programs will usually have resources available to family members as well. If you join a support group, it can help you manage your own well-being. The forums can allow you to connect with others who are also relating to your experiences and can provide advice and support
Differences Between Hurting and Helping
Enabling and empathy can go hand in hand, and both come from a place of compassion and the desire to help. Enabling allows self-destructive behaviors to continue, which creates further problems. They can come in different forms, including:
- Making excuses for behavior
- Ignoring the unacceptable behavior
- Giving someone money, so they are not stealing
- Not expressing how you feel to prevent someone from having upset feelings or leaving
Encouragement and empathy should come in the form of words. Communicate with your child to show him or her you want to help, but do not engage in behaviors that can enable his or her own behavior.
How to Help Your Child
If you think your child has a significant problem with alcohol, then it is important to seek help. Talking to your child can be difficult and uncomfortable, and he or she may even try to dodge the topic. Before speaking with your child, it can be helpful to have guidance on Oregon treatment centers.
As a parent of an alcoholic, you should know adolescents will have different needs when it comes to problems with substance use. If your child is of adolescent age, look for programs that offer substance use treatment customized to youths’ needs. Consider your child’s unique needs and circumstances when looking for a treatment center. This can be an age-specific treatment, long-term treatment, gender-specific therapy, and dual diagnosis.
With the right treatment program, your child can be on the road to recovery and rediscover himself or herself. Contact 866.262.0531 for a quality alcohol rehab center.
Since 2016, Dr. Merle Williamson, a graduate of Oregon Health Sciences University, has been the Medical Director at Crestview Recovery, bringing a rich background in addiction medicine from his time at Hazelden Treatment Center. He oversees outpatient drug and alcohol treatments, providing medical care, setting policies, detox protocols, and quality assurance measures. Before specializing in addiction medicine, he spent 25 years in anesthesiology, serving as Chair of Hospital Pharmacy and Therapeutics Committee and Chief of Anesthesia at Kaiser Permanente. This experience gives him a unique perspective on treating prescription drug addiction.
